RWC2011: Save the bagpipes!
So, those malevolent Scots and their evil brain washing bagpipes have finally been given the boot from the Rugby World Cup. Such is the power of the bagpipe, with its ability to unnerve, distract, confused and intimidate the on-field opposition, that the organisers of the tournament have thrown out the windy instrument. It is also said that a Scots rugby player, upon hearing the loud whine of a bagpipe, can produce performance levels upwards of 12% higher than usual match day efforts. All of which is of course a nonsense, apart from the bagpipe ban that is, which, although being a nonsensical decision, is still actually happening.
RWC have stressed that the ban actually covers all musical instruments, and is therefore not an effort to single out the bagpipe, however, anyone watching Russia vs Italy today, will have been hard pressed to not notice the French horn blast out after every single restart. Now should a blanket ban to instruments be applied, surely the French horn should have been snaffled up by an eager steward? Sneaking it in is one thing, but seeing as it was played on no less than 10 occasions (minimum) it could easily have been found and thrown out, yet it was not. Perhaps constructing some manner of pocket sized bagpipe is the answer?
Now, I should clarify something here, I can’t stand bagpipes, never had and never will. The noise produced by those dreadful sacks of pipes is a horror on my audio centres. Yet, even with my deep seated dread at the noise of a bagpipe, I can still acknowledge, that at a match including a Scottish team at the very least, pipes should be heard. It is part and parcel of the rugby atmosphere, and should not be compromised. So horns, hooters and those ridiculous vuvuzelas should indeed be pounded out of the grounds, they are not required and do more to cripple the atmosphere of a stadium than raise it. But the bagpipe, just as with the French horn, should certainly be made welcome. Their absence, indeed, their enforced absence, strikes as an administrative aberration. If you want to help spectators, ban booing, ban people going to the toilet and from getting a beer during the eighty minutes of play, ban crap referees from crippling games with their terrible officiating, but done ban the music, don’t ban the instruments that have helped raise the spirit and atmosphere of rugby crowds for generations.
There can be only one logical resolution to this – raise the ban on bagpipes, raise it on all musical instruments that are not made out of plastic. Let the rugby crowds be rugby crowds, and don’t try and turn the act of watching rugby into some manner of passive act akin to shuffling quietly through a library.
Save the pipes, however dreadful they might sound!