Posts Tagged ‘ Royals ’

Legal Clarification Released on Photographing Members of the Royal Family.

In light of scandalous news coming out of seedy, depraved and morally corrupt France, that one of those bottom feeding rags has dared to intrude upon the sanctity of the Royal inner sanctum, the most relevant and seemingly all pervasive Royal family has today moved quickly to release new guidance as to when it is acceptable and when it is certainly not, to publish images of the Royal Family in a state of nudity.

It is not acceptable when:

1. we have invested all our eggs in one basket.

2. our desire to remain relevant to society after all those summer parties we threw (or received, depends on your perspective) are forgotten, hinges on the public’s love of the target.

3. we would really rather not have to go through all that business again that we had with the last Princess we brought in.

It is acceptable when:

1. the targeted Royal has a history of mischief making

2. boys will be boys

3. the targeted Royal has in the past shown a propensity for disguising themselves as a Nazi

4. the targeted Royal has no shot at the throne anyway, so, you know, who cares

5. we can ship off the shamed Royal posthaste to a foreign war zone and hope for the best.

6. we’ve got a better one.

The Royal Family is the Single Most Important Thing In the World – BBC.

Staggering really, staggering on a number of levels. Here we are, the world as we know it, buckling under the weight of 7billion hungry mouths, all of them scrabbling around for what remains of the world’s currency, which is not much given that so much of it is being pushed around in Greek wheelbarrows, the eastern world is sinking under successive waves of floodwater, while the middle eastern nations are taking it in turns to cut the heads off of successive world leaders, and the top story, the very top story according to the BBC, is the rules regarding succession to the Royal throne, are being tweaked. So important a story this is, that David Cameron, a man who one might expect to be focused on tackling his own parties internal squabbling, or the fact that the leaders of the European nations seem to be attempting to forewarn the world that the good ol’ days of the Napoleonic Wars are about to come back (presumably led by a host of nations looking to recoup their financial losses by simply invading Greece to take it all back), is flapping around in Australia, kissing the royal arse as if this is the most pressing matter on the world stage today.

It’s hard to gauge which is more disgusting, the fact that the leader of British politics is wasting what seems an incredible amount of time and resources during a crippling period of economic austerity, to reword some mind bendingly irrelevant pages of documentation regarding who gets to stand where when the inbreds line up to sit in a chair and wear a shiny piece of metal the moment the previous inbred drops dead from a well covered up case of hereditary syphilis, or whether it is more outrageous that the BBC should commit so much air time and debate (at time of writing, ‘Girls equal in throne succession – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15492607, is the top story on the BBC website) to a story that surely can have no more relevance to British or World society today than whether or not I put socks on today.

Seriously the BBC, the fact that I chose to put on a pair of black socks as opposed to the blue with green trim socks that I briefly pondered upon this morning, is as, if not more, socially relevant to Britain and worthy of ‘top story’ billing, than the rights of some royal tart to follow in the footsteps of some royal twat. Cameron, the BBC, get a hold of yourselves. The World is on the cusp of falling over itself and crushing us all when it lands, and you think that this is what we all want to hear about?

To summarise, The BBC = Idiots, David Cameron = Idiot, the Royal Family = Socially irrelevant idiots.